“Mum’s New Challenge: Dressing Like Their Daughters—When Did Motherhood Redefine Womanhood?” [Opinion]
What began as a straightforward TikTok phenomenon—mothers stepping into their daughters’ clothes, mimicking their styles, and proving they could be mistaken for each other—unearthed more than mere entertainment. Behind the chuckles, praise, and remarks such as “Wow, Mum is looking good!” lay an underlying sentiment that resonated deeply with many.
The admiration wasn’t solely focused on their beauty; people were also taken aback. These women, often spotted wearing loose garments, scarves, or ill-fitting outfits, turned out to be surprisingly attractive. This realization made many wonder: At what point did we start viewing mothers as something other than women?
In our culture, after a woman gets married and becomes a mother,
She is anticipated to mold herself into a form of femininity that remains as inconspicuous as possible.
“Wear clothes that suit your age,” people advise. But what exactly does that mean?
Boring. De-eroticized. Censored. Exhausted.
This implies avoiding makeup except for special events. Fitted dresses should be avoided as well. High heels and tight bodycon gowns are not allowed either. Instead, it involves wearing loose clothing like wrapped garments and shapeless bubu outfits, blending quietly into the backdrop while taking care of offspring and maintaining the household.
As soon as a woman turns into “someone’s wife,” she seems to have to relinquish all indicators of her femininity, allure, vitality, and attractiveness. She ceases to be perceived as a sensuous individual. Instead, she is expected to become practical, obedient, and honorable. Yet, she loses her sense of self in the process.
However, nowadays, the internet is shattering that perception.
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These videos of mothers bonding with their daughters are not only entertaining; they also challenge the falsehood that women have to become boring to earn respect.
Finally, people are beginning to view their mothers as women once more—women who have attractive legs, charming figures, and gorgeous smiles that societal norms had hidden under the guise of motherhood.
One comment even said:
Kate Henshaw isn’t particularly extraordinary. She simply refused to allow societal pressures to dim her brilliance. As a result, we’re realizing that our moms might have appeared equally stylish if they hadn’t felt compelled to ‘dress like mothers’.
That’s it right there.
Our mothers were indeed beautiful, but they were not permitted to stay beautiful. Many of them embraced this falsehood.
In reaction to the challenge, certain Nigerian men have begun sharing posts such as:
Wait until your mom gets beautiful before you go learn something.
These individuals aren’t concealing their unease. The notion of a woman, particularly one who is someone’s wife or mother, being viewed as appealing or young poses a threat to them. Why?
Society instructed them that elderly married women ought to remain unseen.
The allure should be reserved for casual partners rather than spouses. It’s believed that a woman’s transformation concludes with her wedding day, and further changes afterward might seem questionable.
Therefore, it goes beyond mere attire; it’s about exerting control.
Ladies, pay attention! You were women first.
Before your life as a spouse and parent began, you existed as an individual woman—a complete person with aspirations, passions, and a legitimate claim to personal expression.
Why should that stop?
Why should your body be celebrated solely on your wedding day and then get hidden away under wraps after having your first child?
Why is your fashion sense labeled as “irresponsible” simply because you’ve taken on more responsibilities?
Many Nigerian women are suffering silently. Their pain is not physical, but emotional. They have abandoned their personal needs, aspirations, individuality, and happiness. Society continues to praise them as the ideal “good woman.”
However, that must shift, and this article serves as a reminder to women that youthful energy is not a flaw. Beauty isn’t exclusive to unmarried individuals. Style isn’t off-limits after becoming a mom. And esteem shouldn’t depend on your level of coverage.
Mothers, it’s perfectly fine for you to look great. Feel free to put on some red lipstick or throw on a pair of jeans. It’s totally okay for you to be present beyond the kitchen and PTA events. Just because you have kids doesn’t mean you should conform to societal expectations of blandness.
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For daughters and thoughtful sons, allow our mothers to rediscover their identity as individuals. Support her, honor her, accompany her shopping! Assure her that she does not require anyone’s approval to dress in a way that makes her feel true to herself once more.
At the end of the day, she’s simply a young woman.
